I barely recognized this dusty old corner of the web when I logged in the other day. The burning question in my mind is whether or not bloggers are essentially narcissists and attention whores. I've concluded that while many bloggers blog purely to feed their outrageously bloated egos, others actually provide relevant and interesting information to their family and friends.
As you have surely guessed, I am not one of the latter. I blog only for the orgasmic rush I feel when I am notified that someone commented on my blog. Your blog comments are like pure heroin injected directly into my carotid. As any good narcissist will tell you, there is nothing quite so worth-affirming as a turgid, throbbing heap of comments praising you for your latest trivial achievement, mind-numbingly inane post, or infinitely asinine fecal nugget of "wisdom". So, dear nonexistent reader, keep them coming. Your sweet sweet comments light up my brain's reward and pleasure center like the Fourth of July.
In other news...
I think my blogging hiatus is over. I don't think I can match Amber's blistering blogging pace, but I'll try to post every now and then. It keeps the brain active and helps break out of existential funks. Incidentally, so do cattle prods.
I took up Jiu-Jitsu about 4 months ago. Why? Well obviously because I enjoy being wrapped up in the slippery, pungent embrace of another sweating man. Silly question. It's actually a fantastic workout, as every training session takes me within 1/2 dozen beats of heart failure. I also find the ability to physically dominate others very useful. It takes all the annoying small talk and expense out of the dating scene. No longer is it necessary to take a girl to dinner and charm my way into her good graces; I simply throw her to the ground with Seoi-nage, and place her in a compromising and pleasurable hold such as a triangle choke as I have my way with her. I plan on competing at the Pan-American tournament in August, so I'm going to train every day, and post video of my glorious victory as white belt heavyweight champion (or not). Either way, it should be amusing.
9 comments:
well, it's about bloody time. I check your blog daily, and had almost reached the point of "why bother" due to lack of posting on your part. Three cheers for narcissists!
As for the jiu-jitsu... awesome! using jiu-jistu moves to place dates in compromizing positions... interesting. I expect updates on the success of such methods.
One deposit of pure pleasure, coming right up.
Well, narcicist or not, I enjoy your posts. Carry on.
Also, I'm rooting for you in your white belt competition. Please have someone take pictures. Remember, the bigger they come the harder they fall.
Parenthetically, I was highly amused by this post.
Laughing.... I could never match the QUALITY of your blog when it comes to giving me a good laugh!
This entire blog post was fated, from its very first breath, to be a dictionary definition of "way way way too much information".
Amanda, I trust that your tongue is firmly in cheek, as mine was when I wrote the blog post.
Firmly. I'm extremely happy you're posting, even if it is about your suppressed desires for another man's embrace. I support whatever life choices you wish to make, like a good little half-sister.
And may I add... the cattle prods up the arse will certainly help to 'stimulate' your newly found deviant lifestyle preferences.... (you know, male sweat, etc)
whatever...
Releasing that energy of yours is a grand idea.
Keeppppp blogggging.
PLEAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
hahaha gross Dad, I don't think I made reference to shoving cattle prods anywhere...I can see this conversation degenerating quickly.
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