Its all true, I swear...

After 15 minutes of ineffectual pounding of my skull against the computer monitor, I saw a brilliant flash of white and realized that I had somehow transcended space-time and entered an alternate dimension. Although a large v-shaped object obscured some of my vision, I was able to see a landscape transformed, teeming with vibrant colors and striking patterns I hadnt previously noticed. It appeared that all objects in my tangible reality had been multiplied by 2! I now had 4 hands, there were now 2 cups of coffee, and 2 computer monitors on my desk. I fumbled awkwardly with my now two wallets, and discovered that the money within had doubled! Oh joyous day! The possibilities exploded in my consciousness as I realized I now had 2 girlfriends, drove 2 cars, and had 2 domiciles to lay my 2 heads. The excitement began to mount as I went to the bathroom to wash the tears of joy and wonder from my eyes.
It was there in front of the mirror that I realized I was cross-eyed, and I wept.

And now, for something new and interesting...

I woke up, and realized that my nose was filled with boogers. I pulled back the covers, put my feet on the floor, and walked over to my desk. I picked up the tissue paper, put the kleenex to my nose, and blew hard. I looked at the yield and admired the multicolored, gentle brown and yellow hues of my nostril export.