HUMANS!

Is your planet full of lush greenery, with clean water and a self-sustaining ecosystem? Does everything function symbiotically, in an awe-inspiring balance of wondrous proportion?
Then you need HUMANS! In just a short few thousand years, humans can completely and utterly F**K UP YOUR PLANET!
Simply integrate them into your amazing world and watch as they mindlessly gobble up resources, clear-cut rainforests, manufacture usless shit at an alarming rate, spew noxious and/or toxic chemicals into the water and air, deplete your ozone layer, enslave and murder their own kind, and divide the planet into imaginary sections so that they can worship shiny rocks and colorful pieces of paper.

SO! If you're tired of your boring planet, full of peace, tranquility, animals, plants, natural resources, and clean water, dont hesistate to order HUMANS today! Thanks to an excess, Planet Earth has literally BILLIONS of these creatures to spare! COME ON, UNIVERSE! Isnt it time you enjoyed the benefits that only HUMANS can offer?

***WARNING***Humans are not for everyone. Side effects may include climate change, war, rape, drugs, disease, poverty, politicians, the apocalypse, reality TV, torture, prostitution, recreational joggers, Rosie O' Donnell, K-fed, and religious zealotry.